Who we are
Grief and loss have shaped a lot of who I am, especially when it comes to friendshps and relationships. I crave deeper connections to people. When I met my spouse, AJ, I didn’t know how much I would learn from them. They bring out the spontaneous and adventurous sides of me, and have also taught me a lot through their struggles with alcoholism. In their recovery, not only have I watched them totally transform and restore their own self-love, I have learned that I can’t fix things for people and I have to take care of myself first. That whole airline spiel about putting your own oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else? Yeah, I wasn’t living by that idea.
In early 2022, I lost my mom after she battled MS for nearly 20 years. She was my rock and my support and navigating life without her has been hard. I was very involved in her caretaking, saw her often, and in many ways, my life revolved around her. Since her passing, I’ve been reminded more and more of what she taught me and my two siblings, some of which I plan to share with you here, with Better Makes Human. She is, afterall, the inspiration behind it all.
We have all been through some kind of loss, whether it’s of a loved one, a relationship, a job, or the end of a journey. Those forks in the road seem to be where we do the most falling, and well, the most growing. I know I have. It’s where we are most vulnerable and where we find pieces of ourselves. I think it’s magical. It’s also really fucking hard and lonely. There is beauty in our brokenness, and in the way we put the pieces back together in a new, reinvented way. That is what I hope to bring you, now that you’re here—to feel seen wherever you are in your grief journey, to feel a sense of community and connectedness, and to feel a little less lonely. And maybe to laugh because if we don’t have humor, what do we have?
Thanks for joining me. xo
I’m the creator and founder behind Better Makes Human.
My feelings have always felt too big for me, even since I was a kid. Slowly but surely, as I’ve gotten older I’ve figured out that emotions are more my superpower than my downfall and it’s about finding ways to navigate my emotions and let my intuition guide me.
I’ve always had this feeling that I’m meant to share the challenges I’ve faced, especially around loss and grief. I’m in my early 30s and I have lost both of my parents to slow, progressive diseases. My dad died when I was in high school and it took me about a decade to start to see how deeply that changed me. In 2019, my body finally said “enough is enough, slow down”, forcing me to take some time off of work to focus on my mental health. I have always been one to feel my feelings, but my goodness when your body decides for you, it’s a different ride.
My Mom
Her name is Pauline. I love this photo of her because it captures her spirit. She was always a kid at heart and never stopped playing. She could make anything fun, anything rhyme, and had a song for anything, too. Life was not kind to her, but you’d never know it. She smiled, she laughed, and she always greeted me with “hey babe, how ya doin’?” She never understood why people took so easily to her, why she made friends everywhere she went. It was a joke with my siblings that going to the grocery store for a few things would turn into hours because she’d run into someone she knew or make a new friend. She was a profound teacher, both literally and as a mom. Everything had a lesson, a message, a meaning.
It is her lessons and her words that have brought me to share Better Makes Human with the world. If I can share laughs, tears, and everything in between with others who have lost their loved ones, I believe the world will be a little better, and she would want that, too.